1. I got sunburned like crazy in Florida, and a few days after I got back, I started peeling. A few days after that, I went running, and when I was done, I realized the sweat on my legs had collected in the little pockets of sunburnt skin. When I ran my fingers over it, the sweat pockets popped with a satisfying little POP!* noise not unlike bubble wrap.
2. My ears had been bothering me ever since returning from vacation, so I bought some ear candles and tried them out. Allison agreed to be my assistant (lighting the candles, trimming the ashes, etc.), and when all was said and done, the cones were filled with a mysterious, Worther’s Original-colored substance. Further research has indicated that this is probably beeswax from the candles themselves and not actually ear wax. Bummer.
3. This doesn’t have anything to do with MY body, per se, but I am not kidding you when I say I found a human tongue on the sidewalk behind the Episcopal church last week. A HUMAN TONGUE. It certainly looked like a tongue, and it certainly looked like it was covered in blood, and it certainly looked like it had one end that had been severed from the inside of somebody’s mouth. In honor of this startling discovery, I decided to rent a movie that revolves around the similarly startling discovery of a severed human ear, Blue Velvet. Biiiiiiiiiiiig mistake.
* The first and last time I will ever employ onomatopoeia on this thing.
Tags: blue velvet, ear wax candles, sunburn, tongue
