I can sense somewhere, right now, I’m being prayed for.

Hey, remember that one time? When I had a blog, and I kept it up? And then I didn’t?

Tight.

Well, as of RIGHT NOW, that time is OVER. 

Just to bring everyone *cups hand to ear, hears nothing but crickets chirping in the night* up to speed: 

The reason I didn’t post forever is because in July, I made the mistake of quitting an anti-depressant I’d been on for four years. Cold turkey. Like, I quit cold turkey; Cold Turkey wasn’t the name of the anti-depressant. Just to clarify. 

I’d always “laugh and [hold my belly] like two Santas on opposite ends of the scales” (thank you, Brad Neely) when I heard of other people doing this, and consequently, swore I never would. But war / life does funny things to men / women, and after a particularly fun, medication-free weekend in Los Angeles (go here and here for more on that) I never touched the orange bottle in my kitchen cabinet again.

The affects of that poor decision finally hit me around October, and like Master P of Wizard People, Dear Reader (thank you again, Mr. Neely), I was “at the bottom of a depression well” — not a “drunken” one, as in the original quote, mind you, but a depression well nonetheless. Counting the tiles on my bathroom floor, Windexing everything in sight, waking up seeing my boss’ face and yelling obscenities in the dead quiet of my apartment at 3 a.m. You know, the uj. 

Anyway, I used to think I never wrote when I was happy; clearly, I never write when I’m sad, either.

Oh, well.

The good news is that I did something about it. I’m seeing a very good counselor, I’m back on an anti-depressant and anxiety medication (new for me, but a needed addition to my daily cocktail of vitamins and prescription drugs), and I’m feelin’ fit as a fiddle for the first time in awhile — even better than I did the LAST time I was on an anti-depressant.

And if that doesn’t deserve a “whoop whoop juggalo,” then I don’t know what does *looks to the north; thinks of Liz*

With 2009 descending rapidly, I am reminded that some things change; others never do. One of those things, as evidenced in the subject of this post, is how much I love Why? If I could see Yoni Wolf right now, I’d shake that man’s hand. I wouldn’t have made it through October or November without him. Speaking of, there were a lot of people I couldn’t have made it without, but I think most of them know who they are.

Tags: meds, wizard people dear reader, los angeles, anti-depressants, anxiety, depression, brad neely, why?, yoni wolf, 2009